The smell of dusk is in the air and I’ve only just forgotten the non important things of the day to find my way here, out on to the moss land. It’s already late. With the depth of winter upon us, where the trees bare their bones to the elements, I can’t help but feel the ache of dying.

As I sit exposed to the front of the howling wind and the promise of rain in the neighborly clouds, I’m taken back to a conversation I had whilst slurping some soup at lunch.

We, a friend and I, talked EROS. We mused on the ways “EROS’ the word, creates a reaction, a dissonance to those who do not know the true nature of this essence.

She says to me ”Why don’t you change the name of your offering?”

She said, people have a knee jerk reaction to just the word EROS. An instantaneous rejection. Almost degradable.

And maybe that is exactly why I mustn’t change the name.

As I walk the land, my head half in the conversation and half with the cawing crow, I can’t help but feel the despair of the banished God. Eros.

And as I look around at our dying world, I can’t help but feel the madness. When did loving become something to feel afraid of? When did the outpouring expression of love become something to fear?

Why has the godliness of love become a banished monster?

Is it because true love’s force is so wild and mysterious, that if we were to completely open to the earth shattering force of love, our lives would never look the same.

I can’t help but feel the despair of being sooooo far away from the source of such a vital wild god.

As a result, what do we have? A culture like ours. I needn’t go on to explain the horrors, only the dead are immune to feel.

And what is left in it’s place is the mirror of an adolescent disconnected nightmare, where the erotic has been reduced to pornography and the profane. Left in the shadow lands, banished and unloved, Eros’s love has become a distorted devil.

What if the great shadow work of our times, is to reclaim the Wild God (and Goddess) within each and every one of and return love to its rightful place?

What happened to the godliness of love? What happened to the sacredness of earth’s beating pulse making its way into the ecstasy of our heavenly bodies, reminding us that we too are part of this big Mystery.

The cry that poured from my ripped open chest felt ancient.