TRANSCRIPT:

I really hope that you don’t wait until you die to tell God how you feel about those things.

I really hope that you create space to tell him, yeah, already.

Being mad at God is actually really important part of the initiatory journey. So my teacher, Bill Plotkin, he nearly wrote a chapter in his book called “When God’s a Dick” because I had told him about my cursing at God, and he was just like: “Oh my God, I need to write a chapter in the book called When God’s a Dick” and God is a dick. All of these things that happen that bring us to our knees: our blood, our heartbreaks, our childbirth, the way that life doesn’t go… we need to be mad at that. We need to curse and be mad at him, because that expression isn’t devoid of divinity or of love. It is love itself, and it is divinity. Your hurt and your pain is the divine.

And I know that you’ve been indoctrinated in a different way, and so it’s really difficult to onboard that your your darkness, your darkness is divinity. But I’m telling you from a feminine lens, from the feminine perspective, that everything in anything you feel is sacred energy. So your fucked-offness at God, if you unleash that and really let yourself have it.

I remember there was a time when I fell in love with somebody, and they didn’t love me back. And it was such a deep love, and and so for three months, every day, I’d come home from whatever I was doing, and I would put some music on really loud, and I would stand at the wall and I would be like: “Fuck you, God! Fuck you.” And I’d chuck cushions, and I’d just like, have a fit. And I was just like: “You fucking hate me. Like, why the fuck did you fucking do this? Like, you could have just like…” You know, and I just like, had at it for like, three months until all of that energy had moved, because it’s energy, and it’s all stuck in your system. When we keep it stuck in our system, then it inverts and it contorts, and it makes us sick, and it diminishes our life force and it stops our creativity. So I just knew that, because the pain was so deep in me that I had to move it, I had to express it. And then it took three months for me to every day, to move and express that pain. But then after three months I was done. I was like: “Okay, well, thanks God for that little lesson. I’m a lot wiser and I’m a lot stronger now because of that.”

So that that tiny little one, she needs you to rage, and then she’ll get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, and then she’ll actually be your magic. You know, we’re tapping into the deep feminine level. So this is the energetics that’s underneath consciousness, that’s trapped in the animal body; not just your personal body, but also the collective body, and the earth body, and the ancestral body, and the karmic body. These things aren’t rational. That tiny little one that feels this thing, it’s not a rational thing. You have, you know, this life, and it’s all wonderful, but all of the pain that hasn’t been felt through all of the generations, you’re coming into relationship with it, and you’re coming into awareness of it, so it’s your service to feel it and express it.