I see a lot of work out there all about the dance between the masculine and feminine, domination and submission, healthy relating between man and woman, and I love that all of this is swirling around in the collective field, feeding the possibility of a new and right way of healthy and whole dynamics between the masculine and feminine. I believe this is what the world needs in order to restore the balance. 

One of my teachers said to us once that if a woman is without love she will feel like she is failing. So whilst all of these messages and dream relationship scenarios are being sold in the collective to the part of us that wants to fulfil our god right desire to be in love, for those who are not in a relationship it can feel like we are failing at something, getting something wrong or (heaven forbid) feel like we are wrong ourselves. 

I will not kid you; my longing for the relationship of my dreams with the man of my dreams is real and alive and healthy and for the past 10 years being in relationships has not been my story. At times I have been on my knees cursing god but I believe there is another band of women who don’t get that much air time or much appreciation for all of the silent work they are doing and I’m here to let you know, there is nothing wrong with you.

You can, in fact, cultivate a deeply feminine and erotic connection to life without a man in your orbit. (I will go as far to say that I believe it’s imperative that you do cultivate your own erotic devotion to life before even welcoming in an other. There, I said it). 

These women (I am one of these women, so I speak from experience) are doing the work of coming to know the source of love without the mirror and gaze of a relationship vessel. And whilst this work can and does happen within the container of a relationship, often simply being in a relationship is not a sign of the love we are seeking in our depths because we haven’t done the groundwork of sourcing love within ourselves first. 

To know the source of love within is our birthright, our original blueprint. I believe this must be restored in a good way within ourselves before we can even cultivate the relationship of our dreams. I’m not advocating there is one way, some women restore in relationship, some outside. Some sisters of mine have been through the fire because they are in relationship and not being met, some women are between relationships and following their own pulse towards love. 

It’s with sadness that our current cultural paradigm has all humans divorced from our original blueprint. We live in a state of separation and degradation because of our wounds and disconnection from the source of life itself. How can we live in reciprocity and the fulfilment of love if the cultural conditioning is one of war and hate and violence? This hate and violence is, of course, deeply seated in the root wound of love. 

Our work is to return to love. To come home to the source that we are longing for. We have to find the source within ourselves, to allow ourselves to drink from that source, to create a vessel within that is strong enough to be able to allow ourselves to be filled by that source, to know how to source the source in a world that has forgotten.

This is the work of all beings to return to our original design, to remember love over fear, openness and relatedness over trauma and defence. We have to acknowledge our wounds, our traumas, our defences and then open into love.

Love is who we are. Love is on the inside. Let’s remember how to drink from that well and share it with the world.