Sometimes, when I dare utter the words ‘Feminine Eros’ in any of my conversations, I can quite intuitively pick up on a contraction with the field of the collective. To talk about the particular nuances of a woman’s turn on to life creates an archaic repulsion, steeped in fear and discomfort, which baffles me immensely. As one who holds the golden keys to the magical realm of Feminine Eros, I know the world we would create if each woman were in approval of her life force energy.

One of the main reasons for these outdated reactions, I believe, is due to a lack of understanding around what Feminine Eros truly is.

Often, when people hear the word “EROS”, they get images of all night orgies, pole dancing, boundaryless polyamory. All of these associations stir a great amount of fear, which in turn creates a repulsion and ultimately a rejection.

But Eros itself is the spirit of love from where all of creation was born. It is said that it was from the spark of Eros that life became. Without Eros we would not exist. Without the making of love, creation would not be born. 

So what happened that it became so distorted in our psychic reckoning? 

One of the things that I believe is central to this distortion is our loss of connection to Soul. When you take the soul out of life, you are left with ego. The soul is the eco-centric design of our human existence, some might say the seed of our original design, the potency of our divinely designed destiny, and ego is very different.

With Soul, you are woven inextricably with the ways of nature’s law, but the ego has its own law and with an unhealthy, immature ego, those laws are often human-centric, self-obsessed, and personal gain-driven. 

A woman’s Eros is beyond her egoic preferences. When she is touch with her life force, her life force takes her, shapes her and makes her. She lets life have its way with her. She is in touch with the primordial force of spirit (god, mystery etc..) and lets spirit move her. A woman who allows herself to be moved by such a love is emanating the truth of her soul, because what we deeply and secretly desire is to allow God to manifest through us. 

A lot of what we see in the mainstream is an egoic expression of Eros. It’s the desire to get our wound-based needs met. It’s icky. It doesn’t feel good. There’s a manipulation behind it. And here’s the thing: I don’t judge or shame that, because traversing the layers of ego is what’s needed in order to descend down to Soul. It’s good to get up close and personal with our distortions. There is medicine in there, if we know how to alchemise it from a healthy ego and soul.

The truth is, our culture doesn’t teach us how to alchemise. We are lost in love. Looking for it in all of the wrong places. Places that bring more dysfunction, harm, trauma and suffering. 

When we cultivate a healthy ego we can meet these distortions with the gaze of love and transform the dysfunction into medicine that feeds the soul of all life. But we have to be willing to put our egoic attachments and preferences on the line.   

True Feminine Eros is free in her love because she’s not attached to the outcome. She wants what she wants because she knows who she is. She claims her desire, lets herself be known in the aching vulnerability of her raw truth, takes full responsibility for what she wants without shame or fear and then she creates and manifests it through her capacity to surrender to love, or submit to forces bigger than her.