Inner Heart Alchemy

December 13, 2023
Kate Joyner

TRANSCRIPT:

But what really struck me, what I feel is the nugget of this piece is that voice of like “I’m not worthy of love.” Because what happens is, you know, our heart in its purity, it’s like is the magical inner joyful, beautiful child and then our heart gets wounded in all of these really subtle ways, and then it’s really hard for our heart to open because we are carrying all of these beliefs and these experiences and these imprints. So part of the opening of the heart is being able to heal those imprints so that we can live in that innocence and that joy and that wonder. And so what I’m feeling is that somewhere in the Wounded Child belief thing is that wherever it’s coming from, whatever the stage of your life it happens is like this belief, because sometimes these beliefs can come like when we’re pre verbal also. And they can get imprinted, and then we can bury them also, and then they and then they can come up in later life where it’s more you know, like the teenage self also. But ultimately, like, in the depth of the unconscious, this wounded child is going to be carrying, you know, this belief. This really strong voice of “I’m not worthy of love.” I would say that that is the the doorway into this Wounded Child realm, which is which is beautiful. So yeah, so that would be the place that I would go into

Because you might find that once you… because that’s been given to you as a thread. And once you start going into that, you might find that that more and more and more things open up to be in relationship with essentially. Because also the beauty of this practice is that it’s tapping into the energetic, like we can really rewire some of these pre-verbal places in this practice. When you step into that place of “I’m not worthy” and you allow it to come through your body and mind it could be… I’m not sure what will happen, but I this is what I find in my practice, is like really early, pre-verbal imprints that come through and somatic releases and things that are really stored in the body under this subconscious, unconscious surface. By doing this practice, we’re just welcoming them to the light so that we can bring them into our heart and heal and hold them in love essentially, and that’s where the alchemy happens.

And so as we’re doing that, you know what’s been stored in the underneath, it’s just like it comes and more and more of that space gets imbued with love, essentially. I feel like that’s what the practice invites, essentially. So in the world we can feel a certain way but what’s happening in the outer world around us isn’t the same. It’s kind of like this work, this practice, is alchemy practice. Because if we feel if underneath, you know, the Wounded Child is holding this belief of “I’m not worthy.” So we’re going to be feeling that, and then that means that we’re carrying that on the inside, but we’re going around in the world, and especially the wild world with all of this love around us, but we’re not able to receive it because a part of us is vibrating on this frequency of not-lovable and not-worthy. And so part of this healing of your own capacity to apply love, it’s not coming from me, it’s not coming from a therapist, it’s not coming from your mother or your father. It’s coming from your own capacity to imbue this place with love, which then means that more love becomes available within the space in our body. Then the feeling of love is more available in your body and then the reality of love all around you, you get to attune to that frequency.

So it’s kind of like you know, a lot of this you know, kind of speech of like you create your own reality. In a way you do, but you create it by embracing the subconscious, the unconscious, and the darkness, and all of the other things until they’re brought into this field of love and then you remove the trauma lens and see the other lens. Like, I’ve had some experiences as well of like, overwhelming experiences of my life have skewed a version of reality, but then when I met that trauma or moved that trauma then it was like “Oh, but that’s not the whole of the picture, there’s this other picture.”

And everything that’s happening is we’re just amplifying an opening to the experience of what love is, of love that’s here and it not being an outside experience. Like it is outside, but by tending the inner world, the outer is then reflected to us and we can then perceive the outer paradigm of love that is actually in this world that is seriously fucked up and and destroying the world and bombing… But love is still there. When we attune on the inside, it’s more available for us to tune into on the outside and then we can amplify it.

So this is this is the work, the inner alchemy. Meeting this place of this core, like, fundamental belief and doing the work around that is is is what’s going to shift a lot.

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