The Love our Souls long for

December 5, 2023
Kate Joyner

TRANSCRIPT:

The soul really longs to arrive at the temple of the gates of love. Like the most fulfilled destiny or act of this lifetime is to know yourself as beloved, to become the beloved, to court the beloved; to be embraced by the arms of love and to live in that embrace as a lived reality, not just as a concept and not just an idea, but to really feel that warmth, that embrace, as as an embodied, enlivened experience. And that is totally, totally available to us. But it’s available to us maybe in ways that we don’t know it’s available to us.

So let me explain. Because of this existential longing, it’s so innate in our in our systems and our psyches and our souls: consciously or unconsciously, the soul is longing for that completion, for that arrival. And then what happens is we’ve got the current cultural paradigm which says that relating is this, or it’s that, or we do it like this. You know, it falls into convention and it falls into into certain ways of being. And actually what we’ve been given in the construct of the culture doesn’t actually meet that longing, doesn’t actually serve that longing. So within that paradigm, that kind of concept is, you know: you meet somebody, you know, you’re in your 20’s or 30’s (or whatever age you are) you meet somebody, you fall in love, and then it’s like happily ever after. And you know, any of us that have been around a little while, have had relationships, like for some people that happens and they find that person and it’s really beautiful. But for others of us, myself included in this, that’s almost an unconscious fairy tale version of love. And where it’s just an easy like, fall into love. And that’s it.

But it’s kind of not the whole story. Love doesn’t just happen to us, love is a state of being that we have to work, we have to journey towards. We have to lay the inner foundation. So if we fall into love in that way, if we go by that fairytale version of love (let me just call it that for a minute.) Then when we actually fall into relationship, we can find that the depth of the relationship isn’t meeting us to the depth of our soul’s longing. Does that make sense?

What I’ve come to observe in my own journey, but also working with many, many women and working with men also, is that in order to really like have the love that meets the depth of the soul, that what we need to do first is lay in the foundation. So quite often, in in the common paradigm or the current cultural paradigm of love, we can look to relationships to fulfill this longing of the soul for union. But that’s only part of the parcel, and we can put all of that expectation and all that wish onto another, expecting them to fulfill this deep soul yearning of you. And it’s a little bit like the wrong way round in a way because I feel (in my cosmology) that the first thing that we need to do is establish the inner foundation so that we can come to an inner union within ourselves first and foremost. So this inner union is like coming into relationship with the depth of our soul. We come into intimacy with who we are, what our values are, our expression, or likes, or wants, or desires, or yearnings: fuly onboarding the depths of who we are.

And quite often there’s the polarity of the masculine and the feminine in the outer world like the men and women: we have we have the masculine and feminine within ourselves. And quite often, depending on the programming we’ve received or the cultural narratives of man and woman which are still very much contorted, the templates of our own inner feminine and our own inner masculine can be somewhat contorted or, or distorted. So laying the inner foundation, we have to really go on this journey of unearthing and finding and meeting the deeper landscape of our soul where the programming and conditioning are about what it means to be who we are, like, the beliefs about ourselves, the beliefs about our world, our core identity… and then we have to kind of go around like the process of healing that space, healing where we were coming from, like a wounded or fragmented mentality. And then also coming into relationship with the depths of our soul. There’s this like, place within us that is the truth, the core of us, the truth of us, which holds all of our gifts and all of our sensitivities and really the true essence of that.

So when I talk about laying the foundation, the journey is unpeeling all of the outworn conditioning around who we’ve been told ourselves to be, until we find that magical soul-essence being of us. And then once that’s been revealed, which is the ultimate revelation of depth and love, within our own expression and soul, then the masculine part of ourselves like the consciousness part of ourselves, the one that will like will like onboard almost and create the the way in which we can show up in the world through our speech through our through our artistry, all of those things. It’s like those two things need to come in alignment. So you can know for example that at your core, you’re this magical creature, but there can be a lot of conscious programming or wounded beliefs that have you at war with yourself. For example, you might feel a desire, right? So you feel a desire and it’s like your desire is pure and holy and wonderful. And then there can be a lot of downplaying of that desire internally because, you know, the risks, the fear, the vulnerability, you know, don’t make a fool of yourself. And so there can be this internal war within ourselves where the true essence of ourselves isn’t able to be lived because there’s a part of us that isn’t, isn’t in favour of that. And that’s because that conditioning, or that wall, or that construct is a result of our cultural programming and also our childhood conditioning and our childhood wounds.

So the journey of laying the inner foundation is really refining this inner marriage where you can come into the depth of your truth, and your heart and soul, as the essence of you and you can then also reveal that and be that. So the inner foundation is really that there’s no separation between your inner reality and who you show yourself to be to the world. That can be often like, how we’re like, you know, we don’t say the thing that we need to say or we don’t express the thing that we need to express or we kind of hide from the world and we also hide from ourselves. That would be an example of how there’s still a separation of the self or the soul. So the process of laying the inner foundation is really about unification. It’s about the masculine and the feminine coming together to create this inner union where you’re simply just able to be yourself. And that sounds really simple. And actually, the journey of getting to that is is an initiation. It’s a journey of initiation. And it’s from arriving at that expression, that place of just being yourself : that you are embodied, that you then become embodied, and an expression of love and consciousness together, right?

So that’s the union of the masculine and the feminine. From my cosmology it’s like, if we want the depth of love that meets the soul, then we need, like each person coming to the relationship needs to have this inner union. And, you know, I’m saying that you know, I think we get to a point where there is like: “Okay, this is me.” and then we’re always refining.

I don’t want to spell out that everybody needs to be perfect in order to come into sacred union because that’s not the case. But just the capacity for sacred union comes when two individuals have cultivated this state of inner union within themselves. So they know themselves, they’re not looking for the other to complete them. They’re not looking for other to fill them up or anything like that. They’re whole unto themselves. And they can be in their truth. They can be in their expression. They can they know their depth, and then that creates the conditions where two people can come together and go on a journey into sacred union.

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