I’m not going to lie to you. Somedays I get out of bed and I can’t feel Eros. As a teacher of the feminine, I feel embarrassed to say that. But some days, SHE, in me, is buried under the blankets of the unrelenting garbage that my subconscious mind likes to throw up in between her and I. Things like the latest doom and gloom world catastrophes, the commentary on the latest evolutionary drama playing out in my life and whether I have what I need for breakfast, occupy the soundscape.
When this happens, I feel numb, disconnected, going through the motions. Here, the world feels flat and inanimate. After some time like this, something will catch me out; maybe a rainbow out of my window, the breeze on my skin, the sun on my face. Some reminder will come from the other world within this world that she is there.
The world of sensual wonder isn’t a place to escape or flee to in order to avoid the world of our human making. The sensuous is a place to walk into, like the wardrobe in the tales of Narnia, that opens us up to the magic in the ordinary.
So everyday, I peel my eyes from the sleep of deadly forgetting and intentionally walk into the wardrobe. I anoint myself with the practice of descending into HER within my own body. I stop, pause, listen, breathe, let the music in my space move me from the inside and I give her full reign. I let her move me.
Some days are more fluid than others. Some days, in seconds I’m sailing down the river slipstream all the way back to the ocean and there I dwell in ecstasy. The magical domain of my life force comes into union with the life force of the earth. There I’m embedded within the web of creation herself. Flow takes over me.
Other days, there is resistance to being there. The sensible reason of what I should be doing instead of slipping to the back of the wardrobe, and what the hell with the wardrobe anyway, comes in and I find myself stuck in between wanting and believing.
Whatever happens at the back of the wardrobe, I’m devoted to the ride. I’m devoted to turning up and tuning in my dial to the frequency of love that moves the whole universe. It’s my dharma. It’s my religion. It’s my salvation. I’m devoted to meeting all of the edge, lingering shadows, false personas, that have me divorced from my true inheritance.
There, at the back of the wardrobe is the magic and love that takes me to grace. This is what makes me feel like I am being kissed by God every single day. And when I open my eyes, I see beauty. I see the world with the eyes of awe, wonder and reverence and I think to myself, today is going to be a beautiful day.
This is the power of the erotic to heal. Accessing this wisdom within the depths of our own body is the golden key to healthy, loving and bountiful relationship with this miraculous existence you’ve been gifted.
You only get to live this once, so live it well my loves.